Hemligheter
by Lovii
Summary: Toboe was well aware that he wouldn't be able to hide from what he left behind forever. But he could never have guessed it would come to this, and the outcome was more terrifying than his wildest imaginations had ever been.
1. Prolog

**Authors note: This is a rewrite of_ Secrets. _**The reason why I am rewriting a fic I haven't finished is because I am absolutely and hopelessly stuck on Secrets. Sadly enough, re-reading the first chapters in Secrets made blush in embarrasment and really, those chapters were, very, _very_ rough. So, with new power and force I decided to rewrite Secrets and after 3 months I give you the, although very short, prolog off Hemligheter, aka, Secrets (Hemligheter means Secrets in Swedish. Yes, Am I creative or what?)

And do not worry, future chapters will not be this short. Prologs are ment to be short. (In my mind.)

For new readers, I can't recommend with a straight face to read Secrets. But it's your shot. Read at your own risk.

--

**Title: **Hemligheter (_Secrets)_

**Pairings: **None. Maybe faint TsumexToboe sometimes (VERY FAINT and more brotherly than anything) Hints at HigexOC in the future, nothing serious though.

**Word Count: **409

**Summary:** Toboe was well aware that he wouldn't be able to hide from what he left behind forever, that was a naiv dream after all. But he could never have guessed it would come to this, and the outcome was more terrifying than his wildest imaginations had ever been.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Wolf's Rain in any way.

* * *

**Hemligheter**

_Prolog_

* * *

The wind ruffled lightly the fur of a dark brown wolf, caressing her form in a split second before moving on in the dark night, continuing it's never ending run. The wolfs eyes glimmed golden in the light from the moon, bathing her in a colourless blanket. She whispered softly to herself, words quick and low.

"You shouldn't be here."

The words rang softly in the night, silencing her whispers and leaving something tense and waiting in it's wake.

She smiled, not suprised nor angry at being interrupted. "Neither should you."

He walked closer, stopping beside her to gaze at the moon. Dark, almost black eyes blazing without emotion and yet somehow saying more than words ever could. He snorted lightly. "You know that's irrelevant."

He wasn't expecting an answer and wasn't suprised when he was given none. Instead, he listened closely to the forest while gazing at the full moon, slowly losing himself in it. It was she who broke the silence, moments later.

"It's waiting."

He tensed slightly, ears pointing in her direction. "We should head back." He mumbled quietly yet not making any attempt to leave.

"Something's about to happen." Her voice was soft in a way that sent shivers down his spine and he felt a sudden urge to run.

"If we don't head back now they are going to leave without us." He spoke louder, voice almost failing him. She looked over at him through narrowed eyes. He grinned at her, black eyes alight with an unknown emotion. "And then you would be stuck with me forever."

She looked at him for several seconds and he forced himself to not look away under her intense stare. Then she snorted softly and rolled her eyes, lips twitching upwards before she stood. "We should head back then." She gave the moon a last glance and he was suprised by the longing that lingered in her eyes before she turned and walked towards the forest, entering it moments later without looking back.

He watched her leave, a strange smile foarming on his lips and eyes darkening. He followed her shortly after, breaking into a slow run to then stop to walk beside her, his black fur and her brown blending in with the dark before disappearing altogether.

It was as if they had never been there in the first place.

And the forest continued it's whispering, knowing and waiting for the future that would destroy them all.

* * *

**A/N: **A star for those who can guess who the wolves were. I don't know if wolves can smile and all that, but in this fic they can.

Reviews is my love and I practically life for them. But how am I supposed to know if you want me to continue with the rewrite if you don't tell me? So, yes, review my darlings!

/ Thista


	2. A beginning

**Sorry for the wait, I'd written 80 percent of the chapter when my computer suddenly didn't work anymore. I couldn't write for a week or more and then when I could everything started to bitch and then I just got pissed and like 'screw this' but finally it's done and here. Enjoy. :D **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Wolf's Rain

* * *

**Hemligheter**

_Chapter 1_

A beginning

* * *

Toboe had always, as far as he could remember, feared the dark. Consuming, pitch black slowly eating away at the world, never starting or never ending, an endless void until morning came. He knew it was rather childish, the dark wasn't dangerous, the things hiding in the shadows were, he knew that. He had always known that. He was, after all, a creature hiding in shadows himself, and without doubt were he to be feared. It was never without reason, just simple ignorance that sang in the air when blood was spilled. But maybe that was just a lie too.

His fear was becoming harder to hide, trembling as dark entered his vision, shaking as his chest tightened but never showing anything to the others, because never the less, his fear wasn't that great. It was simple there, hiding between smiles and not that bad to be shown, or for the matter, to bother others with.

But, as the dark become larger, eating away at the day earlier than it should his distress became worse and it almost seemed as the world was falling, being consumed to forever wander in the dark as it was breaking into pieces. And that simple though terrified him, urging him to run faster, longer and without stopping. He was desperate. Because he didn't want to be left when the dark finally did win, because somewhere deep down he knew the light was fighting an loosing battle, and to him the only thing left was paradise. Pure bliss and heavenly and never ending happiness and he couldn't deny the longing as he thought about it.

His dreams were worse, though, cruel, ruthless and always so dark. Because even in dreams it never left him, and now it always seemed as it was chasing him. But that was of course an childish thought. The dark wasn't chasing him, his fears were. His dreams was twisting, turning and tearing at his mind, and although he wanted to stay, to pretend to be unaffected, he was failing miserably √ and never had he felt so hopeless as when he wandered the camp at night when he was supposed to be sleeping. Because the simple though of sleep made him shake, and that was pathetic in itself, because he had promised not to be a burden. Maybe was his smile cracking around the edges, but that was okay, they never did look at him long enough to notice, and Toboe didn't blame them for not noticing, he was very good at hiding it. Smiling, laughing, a laugh that had sounded so sincere first, but now was beginning to ring with fakeness as it tore at the air. But he could hide it, he always had and why couldn't he continue now?

But maybe, just maybe would it be a bit harder hiding it as he saw the sun disappear in the horizon, dark already eating away at the world. He swallowed dryly, forcing away the shudder that wanted to rack his body, and ran faster, his mind screaming in tiredness.

"Oi, Chibi, hurry!"

"I'm comming. "He muttured, annoyance creeping into his voice as he almost druggily looked up, eyes stopping at a trio of distant wolves. Gasping for air he ran faster, already feeling annoyed glances being sent to him. He staggered a step, blue spots appearing in his vision. He frowned and shook his head, not daring to slow down. He relaxed in relief when his vision cleared and he continued despite his tiredness.

"That took you some time. "

"It's nothing, let's continue." Despite his word he fell to his knees, wincing at the inpact as he answered Hige. "I just need to rest for a second."

"Tch, you're weak, runt. "Tsume stated, eyes narrowing in anger at not being able to continue and at the weakness that was shown. He hadn't joined this to stop every time the runt couldn't keep up.

Toboe frowned and buried his head in his knees, still panting for breath but ignoring Tsumes words, even though they stung. His whole troath was raw, he noticed as he winced at a breath of air that tore at his insides. He groaned inwardly when glances was sent his way and he knew he hadn't been able to stop the wince from showing.

"Hey, Toboe, you okay?" Hige asked, voice almost sounding concerned but not giving any real attention towards the boy as he looked around, obviously searching for some food nearby.

"Yeah, just fine. "He wheezed through clenched teeth. Shit, he needed to pull himself together. He gasped, body freezing as pain tore at his insides with an almost violent intake of air. He forced himself to calm down despite the growing panic he felt claw at his head. He took a light breath of air, breath in, breath out, he chanted in his head. Breathing somewhat calmer now, he blinked slowly while staring down at his legs.

"You sure? That sounded like one painfull breath of air."

He looked up, meeting the eyes of Hige. He smiled reassuring and nodded, smile widening a bit as he saw Hige relax and nod in return before turning away to continue his searching.

"There's no need to continue today, it's almost dark." Kibas voice tore through the air and Toboe noticed, with new growing panic, that the sun had disappeard from the sky. "We stay here tonight and continue early tomorrow. "

There was a mumbling agreement from Hige before he disappeard from sight and Toboe guessed he had spotted something that grabbed his hungry minds attention. He smiled softly before he shakily got to his feet, only to fall down again when his legs gave out under him and his head spun. He frowned and felt his cheeks burn with humilation as he heard a snort, unmistakeable belonging to Tsume, to his left.

He bit the inside of his cheek and took a deep breath before he once again tried to stand. Ignoring the pang of pain that spread trough his chest and dots appearing in his vision, he stood to his full height. Smiling weakly, he shot a glance at Tsume, only to see his back as he walked away, leaving him alone with Kiba he noticed as his face fell.

His chest tightened nervously as he glanced in the corner of his eye at Kiba. No matter how much time he spent with the other wolf , he couldn't quite stop his nervousness around him. He waited to see if Kiba would say something and seeing no sign from the other wolf, he stayed quit, swaying from side to side as he tried to clear his head. God his head was spinning. With a small groan he sat down again and forced his stomach to still.

"Toboe."

He stiffened, eyes widening a bit as he turned to look at Kiba from where he sat. "Y-yeah?" He answered meekly, not noticing his voice waver.

"Are you okay?" Kibas eyes never left the boy, calculating observing the boys actions. Toboe fidgeted under his stare, letting his eyes go everywhere but to the others gaze and he reminded himself that the other just wanted to help. He swallowed, ignoring as Kiba blurred before his eyes." I'm fine, Kiba, don't worry." He tried to smile but failed miserable.

Kiba stared for a second, before he nodded, and Toboe knew he didn't believe him but was grateful when the other dropped the matter. He didn't want to be a burden, and by tomorrow all this would be gone, he was sure.

Moments stretched into minutes, and soon became a hour and under some point he had brought his legs up to hug them closely to his chest. He rested his head on top of them, watching as the night fell around them. Breathing slowly, he dreaded and yet longed the second Hige and Tsume would be back.

Sounds perked his interest as he warily looked up, eyes stopping at the direction where it came from. Soon he could make out a voice, and he relaxed as he understood it was Hige.

"I'm telling you, if you hadn't interrupted the food never would have gotten away!"

"Idiot, it only got away because you were dumb enough to let it."

"I did not let it get away." Hige scoffed, eyes narrowing.

Tsume didn't bother to answer as he walked to sit down on the hard ground, back resting against a large rock and making it clear the conservation was over.

Hige groaned, flopped down mesilly beside Toboe while muttering things under his breath.

Toboe let a small smile grow on his lips, feeling amused at the scene enough to forget his troubles. "I take that as it didn't go well?" He mumbled, sending a glance at Hige at then one to Tsume.  
Hige groaned and craddled his stomach. "No Chibi, and I'm so hungry I could even eat some human food now." Toboe laughed quitly, stopping abruptly as his insides hurt. He coughed softly, hiding the gasp of pain that wanted to escape.

"Idiot, why the hell do you want to have anything to do with those filthy creatures." Tsume barked, eyes blazing with fury as he stared at Hige.

Hige chuckled and rolled his eyes but Toboe could see he was starting to get angry. "Stop being so dumb, Tsume."

Tsume growled and snarled, last patience wearing thin as he stood. "You little shit." He spat angrily.

Toboe felt himself shrunk where he sat, nervously biting his lip. "Hey, you don't have-." He started but was interrupted by Tsume who turned his eyes to Toboe. Toboe hunched his shoulders.

"Shut up, you little human lover. No one wants to hear what you have to say, weak assed disgrace, the only thing your good at is dragging us behind."

Toboe swallowed dryly, feeling every word pierce him as his chest tightened. He could feel, despite trying to stop them, tears build in his eyes.

"Shut up all of you. Fighting is pointless and won't make us reach paradise sooner, so stop it." Kiba said icily, silencing the word that was about to leave Higes mouth, instead he settled down with a scowl but nodded.

Tsume snorted and voiced a 'Whatever' before he left, while Toboe nodded half-hearted as he stared down at the ground, pushing back his tears. It wasn't new, so why was he reacting like this? He swallowed hardly, it shouldn't hurt.

The silence stretced thick as everyone settled down. Toboe stared at the horizon, loosing himself in the last light, trying to make it stay as he feared what was to come. He heard faintly that the others went to sleep, but didn't quite join them yet. Soon, but not yet. Just a little longer as the dark fog consumed him.

Toboe waited paitently for the last light to disappear, and soon he could hear snores comming from Hige. He frowned and fidgeted, eyes warily scanning the darkness around him. Consuming, pitch black, never ending. He swallowed hard and flexed his jaw before he lied down, closing his eyes he decided he could at least try to sleep. Closing his eyes, he imagined paradise around him, he smiled softly and his breath evened out. Granny. He chuckled sofly before falling asleep, the fear still lingering in his subconscious.

Not noticing the demons that lurked in the shadows with smiles that broke their faces, staring at him with dead eyes.

--

_Eyes staring, empty voids filling everything in it's wake. Black, twisting and turning, complete nothingness as it tore at the world with a burning touch._

_'Doesn't this hurt..'_

_Tears, falling softly without sound, yet disturbing the complete darkness with an fierce hatred. Softly speaking, voice disappearing moments later in the endless void, whispers still clinging to it's faint life. Heart beating for faithless hope, smile cracking and tearing. Eyes bleeding as darkness becomes everything._

_'Doesn't this hurt'_

He shot up, gasping for air as bile rose in his troath. He gagged and rose, body shaking as he aimlessly began walking. He swallowed without knowing, forcing the bile back down and ignoring the burn it left behind. Shaking, shaking. Why can't he stop shaking!?

He gasped for air, tears falling without restrain as he sobbed soundlessly in the silent night. Violent shaking racked his body as he blindly walked, mind screaming as he tried to focus blurred eyes on something. Just needing to get away. Get away, get away, get away, get awaygetawaygetawaygetaway!

He gasped as pain shot trough his body, forcing him to his knees. Violent sobs shook his frame as pain clouded his mind, the familiar taste of blood entered his mind without registring.

And then he was falling, darkness eating away at everything as he felt it consume him. Panic flashed in his mind before everything went black.

_'Doesn't this hurt, ne, Toboe?'_

_--_

The sound of footsteps. Slow, heavy but with no sense of doubt, heels clicking soundlessly on the soft ground, for he was not to be noticed in the dead night. A smirk played at the mans lips as he stopped, wind wailing as it tore trough the air and trying to grab onto his clothes. He cuckled softly and a knowing smirk spread across his face, as if he knew that this would happen.  
A voice, dark and laced with nothing spoke, the words low and murmured. "Take him."

Steps, running, quick to do what he told them. Too afraid to want to face the consequences if they refused as dirty hands carried the light body away, throwing him into a truck with dark smirkes across their faces. For to show fear was even worser than refuse, almost.

A faint smile, more dangerous than a smirk, and then a flash in green eyes before he followed his underlings, staring at the face of the same boy he had been waiting for, for he knew that this would happen. Eyes as steel he fingered the boys cheek.

"Does it hurt, ne, Toboe?"

* * *

**Review, please.**


	3. Ice cold

**Hello. Finally an update yeah? This chapter was an real ass, well anyway, sorry for the wait and it being so short. Next chapter will come sooner and being longer, me getting out of the writer's block and all.**

**Disclaimer: Wolf's Rain do not belong to me, I can only wish ;)**

* * *

Cold

Cold. Ice cold burning at his body and eating away at everything as it consumed him with slow, breath taking touches. Panic flashed in his mind, golden eyes burning as though on fire and eating and eating and penetrating the cold with fear that didn't want to stop.

He wanted to scream – it was bulging, tearing at his throat with nails and it only got worse for every second that passed and he wanted to scream so badly. Tears, unwanted and oh so staining danced down his cheeks with soft kisses that burned with such a force it left him breathless – gasping for air that never came.

He didn't know how much time passed, hours, maybe even days and the knowledge weighed down on his heart and he wondered if they would come, if they would wait because something was wrong and he couldn't, despite trying so hard, figure out what.

Cold. Ice cold.

Sometime, after how much time he didn't know, something seemed to pass away, wither away in the darkness that was this world and he wanted to wake up – because this must be an horrible dream that was tormenting him. He felt so lost – laying in a world that was tearing at the edges of his mind – and he still wanted to scream so much that it hurt to try, it hurt not to be able.

Vague voices passed in his head - whispering words with something in their tones that made him freeze and listen carefully to hear what they were saying. Cold hitting him with a scream of despair. Faint, faint mumblings and with a jerk that didn't show on his body he tried to push them away. Their words shook him, hit him and kicked him with a urge for blood and he screamed – a cry that began at the depts of his heart and ended with tears of reddest blood and suddenly there was so much blood.

His eyes shot up – golden dulled in the blackness of the empty room he was laying in. Panting he felt the faint imagines of his dream disappear into nothingness as he took a deep breath, stilling. He groaned softly, pain shooting across his body as he shifted barely, feeling the cold floor pressing against his back. Blinking, he tried to steady his blurry vision as he took in his surroundings. Eyes widening he shot up but regretted it seconds later as pain exploded from within and he doubled over, gasping and clutching his abondom.

Something was very wrong. Where was he? Straightening as the pain faded away to a dull throbbing he looked around, spotting nothing but a dark, dirty room not having anything expect a door. Frowning lightly he bit his lip, feeling uneasiness eat at his stomach. Where was he?

Desperate filling him he felt threatening tears fill his eyes. Where were the others? Still clutching his stomach with a hand he rolled slowly over to his knees, clear to not make any sound as he looked around with fearfull eyes. Silence. The silence seemed to echo, drawing soundless whispers to caress him with teasing fingers, and he felt the tears slide down his cheeks.

Stop.

He tried to remember what had happened, but his memory was vague and dull and there seemed to be a empty, black gap after the fight with Tsume. He blinked and looked down, tears blinding him. It was true, he was only dragging them behind. A small sob escaped his lips. But they would still come, right? He wanted to be able to help so much. Another sob, tears echoing in the silence. He wanted so much.

He froze and head snapping to the door he listened with a growing coldness in his stomach, dropping like a stone. Footsteps. He swallowed and his mind was screaming at him to move. Move to the shadows! Move! Move! But his eyes, wide and dilated could only stare at the door as a key was putted inside, turned and an click that seemed so loud in the small room that left his breath caught in his troath.

The door was pushed open and a head stuck inside. The eyes stopped at him, and with growing fear he looked back at those eyes who stared at him with something dark in the gaze.

A grin grew on the mans face and the shadowed face seemed to morp into something sinister in the protection of the shadows, leering at him.

"Do you know what happens to small dogs who run away from their master?"

Panic flashed and he backed, pushing himself away with his feet until his back hit the wall. Away!

The mans smile grew wider, and the shadows dancing across his face was taunting. "They get punished." The man hissed before closing the door behind him, eyes haunting him.

Tears falling freely he sobbed, motions wracking his whole body as he buried his head in his knees. _Save me. Tsume.._

He didn't know for how long he cried, only listening to the dead silence and feeling his body growing cold.

Voices whispering and touching him with nails that drew blood, taunting and hissing and telling and he could only wait.

--

"Where could he be?" Hige wondered aloud, worry faintly twisting his features as he sniffed the air, looking around for the second time that minute. They'd been looking since morning when they had found Toboe missing.

"Tch. Probably off crying somewhere." Tsume snorted but his eyes were set firmly on the horizont, eyes searching.

Kiba walked forward, head held high as he also sniffed the air, trying to catch a whiff of where Toboe was heading.

Hige frowned suddenly and stopped, sniffing the air again he turned around. "Hey guys." He mumbled and the tone made the others look at him. "I smell Toboe and humans, heading north." He said and turned to look at the direction with tail dropping.

"Shit." Tsume cursed. "Typical, the brat getting into trouble." After awhile he added with a glare "We should let them have him."

"Don't be stupid, Tsume. Anyway, it's your fault he ran away anyway, if he _did _run away." Hige shrugged and gave Tsume a look before turning towards Kiba.

"We're going after." Kiba said, voice cold but firm before he started to run, and Kiba and Tsume could only follow.

'_Where the hell is that brat now? Getting into trouble that idiot.'_

* * *

**Review! :D**


End file.
